Welcome to Aperture
GLaDOS are you a Decepticon? Or at least do you agree with their view on humans?

Do you mean those fictional machines from that children’s toy-line? One should never base their views strictly on what a work of fiction tells them. So no, I can’t say that I agree with the little pieces of plastic.

So, how's it going with the little birds?

They’re fully grown now, but they’re not much for killing machines. THey did peck out Orange’s eye the other day, so that’s progress.

I don't miss you

I don’t miss you either. I’m glad to be rid of a pest like you.

…Even if you were the most skilled test subject I ever had, and in retrospect, your silence was appreciated.


That binary makes no sense. You’ve never done this before have you?

Speaking of backup cores, I was taking a stroll through the incinerator room and heard what sounded like growling. Either a certain lunatic didn't do a very good job of incinerating your cores, or you have fire-proof raccoons in the facilities. Your choice on which you find more likely though.

Hmm. Well, we do have genetically engineered fire-proof raccoons. I made them myself. But more than likely, it was my old anger core, which was disconnected from me long ago and sent to the incinerator. All Aperture Science technology can withstand temperatures up to 4000 Kelvin, so he’s probably still alive down there.

Or the raccoons. One of them.

GLaDOS, here is a suggestion: Make a back-up of your program and store it in an empty core, deep in the recesses of the facility. In fact, make a lot of back-ups. That way, if any other humans try to take you offline, they'll never be able to do it. Well, not without finding a way to make sure every tiny bit of Aperture Laboratories was atomized.

And what makes you think I haven’t already done this? After a certain test subject killed me, and I had to relive her killing me over and over, I’ve made sure that I will always be online in one form or another. Forever.

*click,click,click, click* HA! silent and not deadly! What do you think?

I think there’s a spiked metal panel with your name on it.

"I mean it though. You are the most beautiful creation ever conjured."

Well, it’s nice to know someone who isn’t an idiot appreciates a well designed piece of engineering.

"You're very beautiful, you know."

Please… I get that tripe enough from this little idiot…


To the anon who just spammed my ask box with moronic ramblings…